blabbering beelzebub

2009-11-15T01:37:00.001-08:00

I was eight years old then. Class III. Summer Vacation. We had just had the invasion of cable television in Calcutta. My tollygunge home had had its initial influx of Bold and the Beautiful and Baywatch. I saw a Feluda film today. Shonnar Kella. I will be taking refuge in bengali for the few more words that I will type. Chhutti Chhutti, tokhon DD te bachhader ekta program hoto, shokal 11tar theke 12ta. Prothom bar feluda 'r shonnarkella dekhechilam tokhon 3 diner 3in te ek ghontar episode.

"Apni Kathmandu gechen?"

"Apni Kamchatka gechen???"

to "Hazaar Hazzar doctor Hajra" to the inemitable "Eta amaar"......i still feel the same sense of joy and elation as i see Satyajit Ray's trio solve the mystery's climax in Jaiselmer.

Joy baba felunath!!!

....Chhodo Naam....

2008-09-14T12:16:00.000-07:00

Very recently, we had some kind of nickname day or week. I believe that these days there is a week or day for almost anything and everything. So after I had received one of those typical mobile texts….almost forcibly asking out to give a nickname to a sender…I dutifully did the only possible thing that any software professional can do with eyes closed….I replied….and forwarded the message to all and sundry!!

I have known quite a few people in my try at life so far….and quite obviously they have known me in there own innate manner….and that has resulted in quite a few choicy replies as texts back to my forwards.

Most are rude and obnoxious….a few are ….well hard but true…..and there is one…which well…the sender’s state of inebriation is in question I guess…
Enough said …..have fun..this goes out to the people who have known me and been gracious enough to call me by names other than my parent’s given……

Chichke Khochra…(loosely translated as sly small time devil)
Bhedi………………(Wolf…err….u see…follicles have been very kind to me wherever its not required)
Hilso…….(Yeah I am bong….i love Illish mach….and…my name is Sohil after all)
SB
Sarcasm Maestro…(Now he doesn’t call me by that …but by the previous one)
Fucker….(Need I say anymore)
TC…..(I assure you…I am a boy’s school product and this ain’t Ticket Collector)
Baa(n)ru
Bhalu….(Bear…. I do swear I am skinny!!!!!!!!!)
Red Devil
Goobey …(There is this entire band of Kannada friends out there who call me by that!!!!!!!)
Chronic Drunkard….(The best part is I haven’t even shared one with him!)
Fun Drunk…(Unfair….she has only known me for a night…I can be sophisticated J )
Bhombol….(WTF??????????)
Jill
Panu….(err…..very stupid!!!!!!!!)
TB6 dude…(For a year in school during the good old cable network days)

Thank you all very much for your kindness and generosity!!!!!!!

....Of hearts and crosses on rainy saturdays.....

2008-06-16T06:53:00.000-07:00

I thought I had stopped this vice of mine, for times with elated friends only or sorrow for the brothers-in-arms. But, no I guess a month was enough, and with Saturday night coming up and matters of the heart in such a state. I had to "pay" (seriously) my not so old friend a visit.
If I were not a part of his joke, I would probably have smirked at the sheer ingenuity of Cupid, I mean blindness….what a load of total bollocks….that bugger just enjoys a ruckus of a situation.

I am a proud Indian engineer….which means I love extremely simple applied mathematics…and supremely difficult derived mathematics and thesis as their solutions are generally provided. So, I shall take an empirical stock of my ……what do they call it now............ aah personal life right now.

Consider a situation in which A has started liking B, B will love C probably forever…C has been absolutely swept away by D, who may have an E. Yeah well where am I…I guess throughout my essay in life I have taken up all possible variable roles, but currently I am C…and you guessed it suffering from the sheer agony of keeping my feelings to myself.

I have many friends, of which I really treasure a few (like most of us)….and amongst them a few have taken up this challenge to actually get me through an "out with it" Sohil session. Needless, to say it ain’t working, Reasons…well there are a few.

I guess the prime reason is …..i don’t know why but I have this huge "Now…you’re crazy(I swear I am)…its never gonna happen" banner written all over it. Also, I do not want to complicate things…things which are so wonderfully simple and lucid . Why actually blow your guts and end the even painful joy you’re actually getting still.
But I swear I did not knew it before…
So a bottle of good old whiskey it was….and the rain and my ipod to give me company…as it belted out Billy joel’s Piano man…and I pondered all the possible what ifs. The brilliance of whiskey is that it will never ruin your "what if" proposition by permitting that absolute sod–arsed "but then" butting in.
It was Iris next, and I thought of a particular instance of time….the evening I guess I actually acquired an understanding ….of what was always there…and yet I never saw ir or realized it.

A few more "If you were mines " out of the way….when another friend called me up….I guess he was drunk…or maybe I was too drunk too assume everyone else who buzzes at 4 in the morning is drunk…..we spoke….we spoke a lot about life and love…about how all these years having been passed and yet saying it is just the most difficult thing you can do…about his situation…or non – situation…I hated it. Because, I guess me and the spider did try our best …. I mean I swear….if it would have happened ….it would have been brilliant. But it did not…just like all of the other good things you want to happen.
Was I sad that night, actually not( I have forgotten actually what happy means…so sadness follows natural clause)…I was feeling like just having a good laugh about the whole thing. We talked of friendship . We talked of love. And again of what are the things that really matter in life and how much we actually run after the other insignificant things.
How we actually waste our present worrying about the future, and yet it is needed. He said he will do his bit of engineering in the matter. I told him thanks. But we both knew even if he did not say it, he anyhow would have done it and even if he did do it , as we all know these are things really out of our hands.
So then , I am continuing this awesome mental state I am in….because its ok. Ok to fall in unreciprocated love once in a while, and for some of us all the while .Its ok to be a gentleman and be nice and see out her happiness instead of yours(if he is reading,I hope the friend who buzzes me at 4 got it).
I think I will tell her, when the time is right(Yeah rite Sohil who you kiddin…..you will never tell her….because you care too much…..)
There you go how another what if sentence was abruptly terminated by the rancid and abrasive yet forever real "but then".
P.S.—FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK…its 5 45 in the fuckin morning now…and I love her I do…and I don’t have internet……….so why the hell did I actually go through the pain of writing this!

The Return of the Prodigal Son

2008-05-10T03:53:00.000-07:00

It was the most awesome trip ever, but there are a few important lessons that I have learnt that I will forever try to heed.
Never have easy access to your credit card while on the phone when both parties are drunk, and they discuss seemingly doable ventures and you have a laptop and broadband connection in front of you.

Its not sensible to discuss your travel options over coffee and insane friends if you already have reserved transportation available…..and most definitely its not exactly a great idea to have reserved transportation via road and air for the same destination especially since you are going to anyhow use only one, and most importantly if you are an IT fresher and have brought an I-Pod Nano the previous evening…. (I’m broke…)

Wed April 30th
This journey had this amazing escapism feel about it right from the beginning till the end. Ok so here’s the thing my flight to Hyderabad is at 17:45pm….and my supervisor’s is at 17:00pm….and considering I am suffering from severe bouts of nausea and acute viral fever….its better I don’t kind of waltz into the airport with him there. So after this seemingly long wait in the “arrivals” section in Santa Cruz…I finally check that all flying objects to Bangalore are having the “departed” status. That over more bad news my flight was scheduled now for 18:00 pm …..Delayed by 15mins…. Anyways check in over I sat quietly staring at the flight status display board and really excited at what was waiting for me in Hyderabad…I mean Arnab had promised the most brilliant night.
After a while I notice even for flights scheduled for much later than mine… status was displayed as security check and yet for mine it was still displayed as estimated departure at 18:00pm.Then it happened …I have only seen this in the movies….but..
Its 18:05pm and I get a call
Voice on d phone:” Hello , sir is this Sohil Banerjee” (Read as : it better be you sohil)
Me: “Yes”
Voice on d phone:” Sir, where are you sir ?” (Read as: “Where the bloody fuck are you ? “)
Me: “I am in the airport” (“From the other end an imaginary snort : “No shit Sherlock!”)
Voice on d phone:” Sir, 180 passengers are waiting for you….sir please come fast”

That line was cinematic I tell you…..and so I started sprinting in all of Hollywood fervour…through to the fastest security check of my life….and finally I board the airline….and there from all the corners on my journey towards seat 30F (last row) I get those “So, this is the asshole we’ve been waiting for “ looks.
That done …..I land in the new airport in Hyderabad….and err….errm…..”ITS AWESOME”….”ITS HUGE…ITS BRILLIANT”…..and its fucking 50Km from the city L

I will not go into verbose details on what went on next. It involved a list of people whom I can always relate to. And we had such a great release. It had been months since we had such an awesome night. Partying has never been or meant much without this lot. I felt at home after such a long time with people I care about and at a place I simply love. So my friend there was much locomotion both emotional and mechanical…and a lot was said ……and plans were made…..
For that one night we forgot ……forgot all of our hectic work schedules….messed up or non existent love lives…..and pathetic finances…and jeopardized higher education dreams…..and indulged in pure unadulterated fun!

Thursday May 1st

It was a holiday….(so most importantly did not necessary mean falling sick again :P)….hence the long partying and chatting session till 4 a. m. the previous night…..
Thursday was very special for me ….it was one day which sort of captured my entire time in Hyderabad in a nutshell. Confused jobless people having nothing to do….but just loaf around. The term “Loafing around”….originally coined by Cement I think…..came into such prominence there.
People were tired and hung over…..for the obvious reasons….so the day started around 12ish….the guys including myself went and met Teaspoon and Cement in Banjara Hills…city centre and I swear it was hot. One of our clan sadly didn’t join us she found out the hard way that…..a hangover headache and a severe cold headache…should not really be mixed….the results can be leave you really sick and groggy, and with a Phoebe –like “Smelly cat” voice !
From there onto Secunderabad, where the Yashoda hospital cafeteria was turned into our own CCD….by irresponsible people who in waiting for Teaspoon, had juice and chatted and laughed out loud inside an hospital where typical concern and melancholy was the order of the day yet we had our “adda” and yours truly typically fought with “Cement” with scant regard.
Sadly, our verbal duels seemed to have notched down a little……specially since the “Chocolate fight” days. But yeah…..one can still always crack a banter on pathetic PJ’s of cement.
Teaspoon’s work over in Yashoda hospital……we like so many times before….gave more weightage to our “rich and stupid” look by paying a fortune to a rickshaw for Paradise restaurant ….which was just across the corner. I think if I would have put all of the auto fares that I chalked up in Hyderabad …..into my PF…..I seriously could have gone for a Car loan.
I have said this many times and I do not fret to repeat…..If you ever visit this neck of the woods…Paradise Biriyani is a must with the “Chicken Baghdadi”…..and if possible Banjara Ohri’s Fried Ice creams. Cement and Teaspoon had there usual platter of “Ghas-pus” here also……but I have become almost bored of teasing them about that……I Mean think of having shredded vegetables…in Paradise……but considering it was Teaspoon…..and ofcourse Cement….you kinda go in the….”but ofcourse” mode.

The afternoon rolled on we left Paradise around half past 2……
Cement was leaving for Bangalore that evening she needed a bag. The ones as she put it “yaar zaada bara nahi….but u kno atleast 2-3 days luggage bhi aana chahiye”. That was fine ….but she made the classic mistake of giving us the liberty to choose options for her. Raj in an all knowing manner summed up the situation and confidently told her “Relax, now that you have delegated the task to us….we’ll get you your bag before you leave for Bangalore”. Reality however ….as I knew it was could not be further from that….she has just given some work to people who are all lazy crazy lunatics…coming up with solutions flirting with the line of ludicrousness.
So from 800 till 2000…we discussed the Nike’s, Reeboks…etcs….and for some weird reason landed up inside and old and non descript single roomed stacked VIP….er cant really call it a showroom….lets just call it a shack!. Whatever she wanted the guy did not have it…..forget having it…he sounded like never having heard of it! So we took the option of sitting and whiling time away at the next door CCD in Punjagutta…and Cement took her (it was always the one this lazy fellow would take also) option of nicking Teaspoon’s bag. CCD it was ….2 hours of Café Frappe….Tropical Icebergs….and listless banter. Lovely…just like those benched days in the office cafeteria.
Evening came on….Cement and Teaspoon departed…..one for Bangalore via some Data Interpretation…the other to get some sleep….beside her newly acquired air cooler.

We came back to our home…..and even though Raj did seriously contemplate of falling sick again…..we told him nothing much is planned for the night so he might as well go ahead and give a vintage “about to fall sick” performance so that he can actually skip Friday night.
Arnab and myself…..mooned around for a while…..and tried to get anything started…..but Kanchi was still not well……and around eight we went to the new and awesome I-Store that has come up on road no 1 Banjara Hills near Masab Tank…..and I went in…fiddled around bought a brand new IPod Nano…with a single swipe of that dratted card….why do I always have that in my pocket….a subway sandwich on the way and we called it a day.
Friday 2nd May
The morning went in meeting friends that I had left in office in Hyderabad….a round of Table Tennis…a chat session with Saka…my obvious pal for TT…in our favourite 3rd floor break out area overlooking Hi-tech city. Lunch was slightly nostalgic without the numbers anymore…..there used to be a a filled 12 seater lunch we used to have with shared 3 or 4 thali plates where the obvious fight would be who would actually get up and refill it…..but now there was only Arnab and Teaspoon….and Shiva another pal from Deloitte had joined us. I did my now famous “curd rice” routine.
The afternoon was absolutely crazy…..and I swear I am not blaming alcohol ever again for any crazy stupid thing we do…and we claim to be under influence.
Arnab, Shiva, Raj and myself….were back at our flat and experimenting with my digicam….basically nothing to do…and it was too hot to go out hence we were just chilling at home……and one thing led to another and another and holy fuck…we had done it!!!!!!!!!! I still can’t believe we did it…..but lets just say we all have an alternative and highly successful career option available. So much for Hot Chocolate!
Evening came on…and I was back in the doldrums and listening to “leaving on a jet Plane”….was leaving the next day….Teaspoon and Arnab and Raj for some stupid reason thought beating the crap outta me with pillows would actually help me get out of this mood…..surprisingly it did!
We all had our gala dinner that night at Sahib Sindh Sultan…..City Center, for some reason or the other I had always missed it before….and amazingly we had gotten the train also….Metal joined us and thankfully this time not from the kitchen entrance…it was a great spread….and lots of laughter and silly banter spruced up the meal. All in all a happy night outing!.
Also….Raj’s parents were coming the next day…..so there was some house adjustments that needed to be made to forever keep that kindergarden appearance of ourselves to our parents…..i mean its stupid….they know what possible things bachelors can get to staying alone…..but still we do it!

Saturday May 3rd

I was leaving by the half past eight bus to Mumbai at night. This time around we had actually not gotten around to visit our favourite Baskin Robbins haunt in Madhapur yet. Fond memories of the night India won the T-20 will always remain with me where we had a great time at BR. So when a new friend of mine suggested that we meet up there…instead of the other coffee related options I was pleased. For some weird reason or the other it was quite pleasant …..even though I still contradict her that the AC actually was not working….but chocolate almond fudge can do wonders for you on a hot Hyderabad day. Anyways…..let alone chivalry….I had sadly even screwed equality….by the stupid assumption of “ BR…they gotta take cards”. Well mate next time am in town….you’re having a treat J

Lunch was a sumptuous affair with the Ginger Court buffet….and specially as it was a treat from Raj’s parents. Teaspoon and Kanchi could not join us as one had office the other realized I really am not an idiot when I keep on saying “I hate the sun”.
After that I just wanted to sit in AC and while away time till evening after which I would again have to say good bye. The Jubilee hills CCD is forever getting renovated so we went for the one near the check post next to the Mercedes showroom…..but the AC was not working…..so just to beat the heat we walked into Planet Fashion…..half an hour and Arnab and Metal walked out around 4k poorer with two gaudy paper bags…..so much loss for a dratted AC not working.
We picked up Teaspoon from her posh flat in Banjara hills :P…where as always she took a little bit more than the said 10mins to freshen up….and we sat down at the Punjagutta CCD.
Fuck Coffee….A lot can indeed happen over bottled water.
Its around 5 in the evening…..Arnab Metal…Teaspoon are the villains of the piece here. I am cribbing that…bloody hell I have to leave in another 3 hours….when they started it…….
I guess the day I decided on returning on Saturday it was always on the cards….and even though I superficially blamed them …..in a weird sort of way I wanted it too.
Teaspoon wanted to catch a movie….and I was like…dudette don’t you realize….am leaving in around a couple of hours…..and then it happened…
4 phone calls….sadly my credit card again….Kanchi having internet connectivity in office….decided that I was leaving on Monday morning at 5 :30 am….and if you add my good ole pal Murphy to the whole situation he made sure that the bus tickets would not get cancelled inspite of desperate last minute attempts.
So a journey which would and should have been done in 900 bucks was costing around 4100…L
And what did I crib about…..”Crap man….I bought the I-Pod for the night bus journey”

The half an hour of madness over…..no movie actually materialized…..a frustratingly long walk from Punjagutta to Begumpet …where Metal, me and Teaspoon got serious about our MBA plans yet again….so we planned to plan our course of action.
The night was a guys nite out….that also a Sikkim college special on the terrace…..and that Thunderbolt thing was good….we said a lot of things I guess….some good and some not so…I also realized that night that maybe….very few people actually commit to friendship…..and maybe I was being stupid in the fact that I was not thinking in a practical and prosaic manner….but then one of our greatest follies is that we always unconditionally expect….which will always result in disappointment.

Sunday May 4th

It was by Sunday that I realized that I had completely fallen…nywz…..morning went on shopping and aunty prepared a brilliant meal…..and it felt even more so because the last time Raj had actually fiddled with the crockery to churn out that exact same dish….we had actually had to somehow finish off yellow rice paste with Tomato Ketchup!
Arnab , Metal , Teaspoon and me met at My Caffe Latte…..the crowd was good that night….and sadly for Arnab…he was sitting opposite to the visual delights! Teaspoon was having her usual bombshell effect. We took a long walk till the check post…..and I bade Teaspoon goodbye…..
Next in the goodbye list was Kanchi…also….she had my tickets….and considering that my PM would already be consideringthe probability of my prolonged sickness over a long weekend it was absolutely essential I took my tickets. She was having fever and a bad cold still…..it felt bad yet again…..but tata it was!
We came home had chicken biryani….god knows when I’ll have Hyderabadi Biryani again…..Raj had been to Golconda for the light and sound show with his parents so hadn’t seen much of him the day.
Meal over and stuff packed…..my “roomies” kinda rallied around me as if they were sending their favourite soldier out in the battlefield again (hey thanks teaspoon….this line was initially coined by her)
3:30 in the morning came fast…..Arnab and Metal were asleep…did not say goodbye to them…good only last time it had resulted in tears…..Raj was awake….and he actually was gonna see me off….and folks that is really something considering the distance that new airport is built.
I was feeling absolutely terrible and gutted that whole ride ……..Raj tried his best to probably cheer me up…..but throughout the ride I kept on thinking…..why….and why now?......
They don’t allow loitering around the bloody airport after you check in….so it was a 2min last bbye to Raj and Hyderabad and silent unsaid goodbye’s to the “rest”…and I was on my way to Mumbai.

Wait now folks…the story has not ended yet ….The scene is Mumbai airport and its 6:45 am in the morning and I am waiting at the baggage counter…and bloody fuck I see my supervisor standing adjacent to the next revolving conveyor belt for his luggage…he had also chosen the morning flight to return from Bangalore………shit….i mean to actually almost make it this far and then getting caught won’t be fair……so I waited and the moment he got busy with his bags I made a run for it…..with my trolley straight to the Rickshaw counter…..and after the conversation I had with him back in office I am sure he had missed me!

P.S. Great snaps were taken over the weekend….but please respect my friends’ privacy
And seriously why the fuck is India so big….?

...Shubho Noboborsho....

2008-04-13T12:10:00.000-07:00

Hi folks....tomorrow I head back to Mumbai and work...:(.....just wanted to wish Shubho Noboborsho to all the people I know...dont know ....dont care....and yeah with the long distance "kola kuli"...
P.S.-> Mum's cooking was as brilliant as ever.....when will the rest of the nation learn to eat (Sighs) bye Calcutta...Cya soon

...madhapur to mulund.......

2008-04-09T14:56:00.000-07:00

Darn the wheel of this world! Why must it always turn over? Where is the reverse gear?......And try as I may ...to move on and carry on with the days that life presents me with....I can't but dwell in the past......and its great memories.

Nostalgia is like a seductive liar.....it makes you remember the good times....smoothening out the rough edges.....hence often resulting in a grammar lesson in which you find the present tense and the past perfect!

This is my first scribble....since the turn of the year....there have been I guess a few reasons why I did not get the inclination to trouble myself to bore others these past four months....domestic internet connectivity being the primary handicap.

So what has happened these many days......a lot actually.....I have left Hyderabad.....for Mumbai....and have sadly transpired to be a workaholic..albeit a forced one at that.

These past days in Mumbai have been the toughest so far in my life.......mentally and emotionally. You really never acknowledge the depth and extent of your friendship till the time it is actually.....Goodbye. Even then.....with a slight shrug of the shoulders....a warm handshake..and an old John Denver classic of "leaving on a jet plane"....with..."Aw well...Thats life...time to go" cliche you may feel that you can let go......but the truth cannot be furthur from it.

The flashy malls....jazz & blues pubs....discolights....alcohol....sex....n drugs....n even more alcohol....n even more draconian fulfillment....you will say....I know...Mumbai nightlife rocks....Yes it does....and even with the hectic work schedule and all.....I have had my fair share of it. Yet , In the whole scheme of things I have realised a few simple truths about life.It does not matter the avenues with which you are presented for your thrills and spills...and how you get your high.....what matters the most is if you look beside and find atleast one fucked up brat with you....who would share your highs.....and lows.....

I have been fortunate in this aspect of my life.....my mum always said if you can find more than a couple of true friends in life...give yourself a pat on the back...cos its that difficult...and when I look back.....I've had my fair share of unbeatable and unforgettable mates......maybe because of that I understand now what loneliness really means!
Hyderabad will always remain special in my heart forever....no not because I earned my first dough there.....and also splashed the same out with scant regard.... not also because a simple middle class Calcutta bong got his first two pence worth in the "fast" life of the discs n pubs and lived independently in our own flat......but simply because of the friends I made......along with very important friends I kept. I think some of you will acknowledge...keeping friends is as important as making new ones!

Its not that Mumbai ain't good....far from it....I feel it is probably the only city that can logistically and otherwise proudly sport the much hyped "Metro" tag around its collar. Folks...its true the city really does not sleep....and you can practically get anything you want at any hour within the whole expanse of the city.....public transportation rocks....and the city is really safe for women folk....even into the wee hours of the morning.

Inspite of all this I feel somehow at ends.....as if biding my time for something better.....something which will reunite me with my friends.....but no that cannot happen because the stark reality is we all wannabe rich.....happy and successful......

So we are already to pay our price of unhappiness and loneliness and frustration.......in exchange for future happiness......which my friends is a non-guaranteed investment. As they say you can buy a "bed"...lets change that to mattress...(Mumbai is quite expensive cant afford a bed)....but you cannot purchase sleep.

I have realized sharing a flat and sharing a home is much different.....thanks fellas who have made me realize this distinction since my hostel and days in Hyderabad. Often that key to flat 206 glistens in my hand for Ganesh's Charmy nilayam......and I think of the evenings spent kneading dough for that ever so round chapatti...that we all craved for. Of that hilarous single day involving setting up a home from utensils to satellite television......that awesome rick ride with buckets and mats and God knows what and actually singing "Ruk ja o dil diwani.... on the way!!!!!

But in the lonely Friday evenings....when you just wanna chill out after the rigours of the week.....I look around and find the whole city beckoning from theme pubs to purely indianised slosh houses named fancily "family bar and restaurant"... but not any of those regular shoulders around to lean over.....who have always been there.....so I trudge along to a pub.....and make a toast to my own loneliness.....and reminesce and tell myself....someday we'll be all together and much happier. (yeah rite...laughs reality.....fuck reality I say)

Thoughts come and go.....of lazy weekend afternoons spent by listless ,jobless and utterly confused mates lolling in the grass of Eat street..........just always loved to lie down on the grass......Of that one awesome night at TDS....and ofcourse the sheer hilarity of the sequence of events that led to the oh so famous "cousins from bangalore"....of lost rings and pair of glasses in B&C.....

Of long walks (thanks to my extremely direction knowledgable friends) and expensive restaurants....of dhunuchi nach...in totally unbengali like surroundings by a psychopath dancer( i dont know anyone as mad as he is about the dratted thing) ...while two south calcutta snobs just did their bit by taking videos and clapping away...only entering the fray when everything was done and dusted. Metal..... I haven't come across such a telepathic bastard in years.....what an absolute sod. I have also found one nutcase who I feel will always be in my Mozambique trip!

My minds sways now again to that unforgettable day and night spent in Kurnool......trust me folks growing up in Calcutta I never thought I will someday love to relate to an Andhra district town so much.
Ah....the tone's changing.....I am already feeling happier.....the sheer brilliance of alcohol....keep it pourin lad....I need to now go back to Sikkim......I need my high....my fucking deserving high for the week.....and my Manipal days will surely give me that.....
Now the thoughts come thick and fast....the hostel nights.......the labs......my major project :)......friends ....foes.......what an awesome place........and there you go now they are playing "Stairway to heaven"......grreat pub....what a mood estimator!!!!!!!
Soon it closes one fucking thirty......staggering back to my room.........i look at the flat folk..............unsaid sentences like....."what a prick.....always gets drunk alone....never with us....irresponsible ..."......and i give an unseen finger to the already blurred faces........ get to my favorite lappy and churn out those old college classics with a slideshow of all the memories my life has allowed me to keep........
The weeks come and go thick and fast......my fridays stay the same......and I still primarily cling on to phone conversations.......where there is nothing ever much to say but just the same old question pricks my heart......why????????? why does always all good things have to end....you have to restart again......what do we all actually want?????????
So I think about all this with a level head and try to make myself understand that......in life there should never be any regrets....but only a respect for the choices one has made....for better or worse I will always be that what I have opted for!

why i love calcutta

2007-11-07T01:23:00.000-08:00

this is an excerpt of a forwarded mail.....with a few choicy personalized additions......
it measures the degree to which you are affected by calcatitis.....and measures your notions of being a true kolkatan......so here goes.....You are a true calcuttan if.......
Your Residential Address: 45B comes between 30 and 30A.

Your answer is "arey....deshporioy theke baan dik....tarpor exide theke metro....dhore shodon e namben...bla bla bla.......and more bla......", when somebody asks you for directions whether it's to Esplanade, Metro rail, Nandan or Gariahat.

· You come across a Xerox shop: "Xerox machine out of order".

· PCO's also sell ice-creams. · You are a universal bandh supporter.

· Office-goers are better traffic controllers - criticize Traffic police from the bus.

· Parents are proud to tell others, "Chele Computerer kaaj kore" - whether he's a cashier in a departmental store or a Senior Software developer.

· You have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance in the US in software.

· Every time somebody gives you a piece of good news - you became frustrated and the first thing you ask them is, "Sotti? Ki bhabey holo?"

· First day at the Book Fair you locate the important stalls like ARAMBAG'S CHICKEN and BENFISH.

· You call 11:00 A.M. as "Shokaal shokaal" You are 1 hour late and you feel you are on time.

· You look at the "Rs. 90/- Fixed Price" stand and still ask,"15 taka ar ek poisa beshi na! Deben to din..", and wait for his response. And at the end of 30 mins argument, you buy it for Rs. 85/-.

· You know the answers and ins & outs of everything on this planet but for some reason still want to be an NRI but don't quite know how to go about it.

· You know cricket better than Gavaskar, Science better than Einstein, Politics better than Marx and everything else better than everybody else.

· You think being either an engineer or a doctor is the greatest achievement in life because that's what your parents tell you.

· You think you are a great patriot because you quote media statements by politicians better than anyone else and because you think the noise and crowd of the Puja days is the most attractive cultural event ever. Even though you have no idea which year Tagore won the Nobel prize.

There are many more......i'll think some more up for a later date...bye for now
oh btw...am in cal now....and lovin it

....Oct 27-28....the weekend.....

2007-10-28T09:26:00.000-07:00

The sad thing about the last weekend of the month is you are just plain and simply broke.......and I mean broke....nothing...no sir not a single penny......so no flashy theme pubs....with music and ambience to set your saturday night up and running.....but then boys will be boys....and men far worse.....so "we" ( the sikkim junkies.....a daft manipalite.....and another who hails from manipal....wierd i know all five of us connected to that name for some reason or the other) decided to make hay at home.

The day had been pretty boring considering.....waking up at 1:00pm.....having veg thali and going back to sleep.....only to be woken up by a phone call...what an absolute lifesaver.....

"hey.........shall i bring some up at your place? "

"eh.....ohh......err.....why not!!!!" (gained comprehension after a groggy afternoon nap )

" ki anbo??????( what to bring????? filled with anticipation)

"hmmm.......get bacardi white....full.....and some dark shit...any dark shit would do" ( a wierd experiment was crossing my mind.....one my pal of long metla had recently enlightened me on).

So I broke the good news on my fellow eager alcoholic torch bearers........booze......free booze(hopefully).....Then we planned for the thing properly cause my "santa" friend will turn up around 9 so we had a couple of hours to set things up..........

So we decided on the menu.......largely decided by ......a certain website's list on alcoholic experimentation

1) Vanilla ice cream......a couple of bricks...

2) cashewnuts and almonds....red cherries

3)chocolate sauce

4)dark and white rum

5)pineapple squash.....yeah well pity about that originally wanted orange or lemon wasn't

available.....

We got the load and each merrily set about once task.......the vanilla icecream was scooped out evenly into 10 cups.....couple of rounds for the five of us stashed with cashew and almonds and cherries......just waiting for the chum with rum to turn up.

He did in due time and our concoctions were complete....white rum...squash soda...n ice......and now the heavenly ice cream mix was nicely and royally layered with rum!

And the party started.....need I elaborate anymore....lets leave the rest to imagination!!!!

P.S->> dark rum and icecream a big hit definetely!!!!

....wednesday....oct 24.....

2007-10-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

I felt tired.....extremely stiff.....lacking in atleast three hours of sleep minimum.....loads of niggles here and there.....the aftermath of table tennis from 9am to...almost 10pm......it takes its toll.....on blogging too.....hence the missed tuesday......came home at half past 10 at night....had dinner then watched my team win 4-2 against Kiev.....was like shelling peas....bottomline...2:30 a.m.....and then to catch Arsenal's 7-0 massacre of 'Slave' Prague....almost 4:00 a.m......so...needless to say getting up today did not get that....."oh wake up.....what a beautiful day!!!!!!!!" ( I never get that in anycase).
Office....TT again......(p.s->. tried pen grip today.....fucking sucked at it)....had curd rice for lunch...i don't quite know why I have it.....it tastes like sour cat semen....(visually i guess).....yet I keep on having it.............every goddamn day I wanna have something else yet its like this shoddy magnet drawing towards itself......towards a plain bland bowlful.....of......CAT!!!!!!!!!!!
After getting back from office....i saw "the basket ball diaries" today.....I had scene it way back in high school I think...........was spiritedly depressed after watching the movie.....and now I am so sure...DiCaprio 's shittiest movie actingwise has to be Titanic.....I mean at 16 if he can give such a performance............nywz..............point being.........i dunno what the fuckin point was...
This was a crappy idea in the first place.....maintaing a public diary.............because of all the crazy stuff you got to give a miss...............by the way people if any of you(nobody reads anyway) do manage to make it to Hyderabad...do go to Ten Downing Street....and heaven on earth.
Its Liverpool and Chelsea on tonight.....crap Ten Sports coverage again.........gotta watch it.........and belated shubho bijoya to all!

...monday....oct 22...

2007-10-22T09:21:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile since I have done this, I am taking a resolution I will take a piss here on a regular basis and well if you don't like it....well just don't!!!!! Lots have happened....i mean "lots" since my last post and I have passed phases wherein wiser men would have commented "that's definetely a lesson.....a mistake I should learn from".....but me being me....shrugged my shoulders and kinda said in an extremely Nick Hornbyish way....."wish it would have been different.......but thats bloody life ain't it??? so fuckin' sod it and get on with it!!"
I'd like to take this oppurtunity to apologise to all the people I really got .....err perturbed(read stark raving mad) due to err.....certain unmentionable and yet unavoidable circumstances.( I know this sounds again like a joke but I swear it ain't and I'm ruddy serious.

So, what did I do of note today?????? Nothing, but thats the whole point ain't it...coz if I had I won't be sitting here and boring you lot will I?
The really funny thing that happened in the morning today was well.....I live in a duplex house with five others....currently the 3rd floor occupants are at home.....so after my roomie, me and the other bloke dutifully left for office....we did remember locking the house.....and conveniently forgot poor Vijay upstairs.....after 10mins ....after I have boarded the company bus ....I get a call....
"Sohil.....abey yaar.....tumlog lock kar diya kya be???????"( calm and matter of fact)
"oh....lock hai kya.....ha shayad arnab ne kiya hoga....woh last nikla tha...."
"ha yaar jo bhi.....aab khol de be....late ho raha hai"( slightly increased agitation)
"ohh....well I am like in the bus......"( sheepish grin)
"abey......oh......"(click hangin up)...(sheer exasperation) Its like Vijay is this extremely docile and trepid creature who would not hurt a fly and so won't hurt and give an earful to slothful pricks who would "inadvertantly"( halder was insistent) lock people in.
Anyways around 12 i saw him in the office.....and he just said.....the local vegetable vendor "helped" him with his situation....and that was that.....no melodramatic verbose abuse .....cool.

The rest of the day is spent as any guy in "bench"...oho they call it 'interproject talent pool '( load of bullock bollocks) these days.....will tell you...perfecting my backhand smash in table tennis!
And ofcourse a mail a day keeps the employee occupied................came home today...I've enough of eating out.....I mean seriosly thats gotta stop...you just don't dont eat out...cos you have nothing else to do.......so I came home watched ......About a Boy...loved Hugh Grant in it....started drawing wierd similarities with me and the character Will..............and after dinner...well here am I boring you lot.....so that's about it......ciao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

excuses

2007-09-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

its a pity....i still havent blogged about 2 great fantastic weekends............its really not my fault..the bloody photos aint arrived yet.........my friend has it.......(still has it...grrrrrrr).......

....of mugged up sundays......

2007-09-16T06:49:00.000-07:00

Haven't blogged for over a week now.......right now ain't plum too......got two tests coming up on monday and tuesday......tests....they bloody never end.....i have this ingratiating urge to write about a great weekend that i had.....no not this one.....the last one......it was madness personified.....but i shall do the trip justice .......and should really be getting back to processes and application development and business process logic...............zzzzz.........(Yawn.....)......

.......dolor and whine....

2007-09-05T23:00:00.000-07:00

I am a classic whiner, and I love to crib about things, things that concern me or that do not.Oh boy this going to be some depressive shit.
The transition from the college days to the corporate life has been.... well to be honest....absolute hogwash.I mean I know all the positives...MNC company...and this and that.....and I am fortunate(unfortunate) to be here whereas many of my buddies are still running from pillar to post to actually get a job.
But once in a while I look at myself and think was this the way it was all supposed to turn out...."all".......analogy....."I"......
Change is inevitable, but excrutiatingly difficult to undergo.
I love to cling on to the nostalgic poppypock like a child hangs on to its candy.....but what is so wrong in that?
Why is it that nowadays whatever I or people around me do is so false and fabricated?
There are more white lies in my life now than grey truths ever were......and I have been here only for a couple of months.
Changes do not always change you the way they should....or you think they should.
The worst part is the aura around "old" friendship(earlier I used to think friendship was evergreen) change because of a lowly slimball job which enslaves you to countries hindering our motherland's progress.....but money talks ....and so we comply.
It is easy to collar Indians.
But do past times count for nothing?
We boozed and partyied earlier because whe loved and enjoyed everything about it. These days everyone goes clubbing on weekends because it has become a norm.....it has become a norm to get sloshed for the sake of getting sloshed.
So..go in a gang or alone....get drunk and dance..and the next day say out loud..."We/I had fun"!
Fuck Fun. Fun was never so crappy!
"We" have turned into monotonous mongrels who have to bark out when the have "fun".
I hate all those fucked-up shites here who think enjoyment is a commodity.I'm waiting for a new dawn wherein I'd break free of all this superficiality ....and yet am weak enough not to wake up tomorrow with a fresh start.

.....training......

2007-09-04T21:18:00.000-07:00

The life of a testing trainee has certain ineffable lineaments which I take upon myself to enlighten those poor blighters who in turn take it upon themselves to actually go through such amphibological rhetoric.
The day starts...... sadly quite early.......the ablutions and repetetive apathetic thoughts out of the way.....I actually take the bus and reach the office.
Err...did I say reach the office.......well the fact is while everyone goes to office I get out at the main gate and turn away...to go to a nondescript destination which has been gloriously fabricated as an "external venue"....for trainees(testers that is).
Throughout my rather "short lived" life I have always been an appreciator of the "length" of a classroom( read: distance from the garrish teacher)....but then here there are quite a few like me so an extremely juvenile musical chair opera goes on to actually decide upon who gets the seats which allows one to do chatting and online socialising(YEAH ..ORKUTTIN) allday without the incurring the trainer's wrath ......and more importantly the really dangerous....obtrusive intrusions from behind!
If these ways and days continue....I'd actually start growing coffee beans inside me.....seriously people who lave to chat or try out their literary skills(sadly) with steaming cups of coffee.....forget coffee house and other popular get together spots.....come to software training....with high speed net connections....its a dream chatters paradise.
Apart from a few "disturbances" from my "oh-so-busy" schedule courtesy life insurance firms and private banks....the day passes by.....inclusive of a thali....and a situation following it which is best described by the phrase "a bengali after a thaali" :)
Afternoon comes and I find myself going to the main office building, check out the cafeteria and basically to avail company transportation(sole purpose of going to office).

.......crests,troughs...and more of troughs....

2007-08-15T10:42:00.000-07:00

'We' all plan.....we formulate policies...devise strategies for the future.....everyone wants to be a somebody. PLANNING........school...studies...college ..courses...job ...careers....making money....and making a bloody life out of it....but for what ...for the things in life which can show up to be the most ephemeral of pursuits.
What do we really want.....what do i really want............questions....and as is the case no answers....never has been .....and in all probability never will be. So long I have studied....been obedient with 'my' career perspectives.......to earn money.....and I haven't earned much of that but already it feels stale......i am yearning ....but for what....i do not know...its one of this dark alleyway scorned yearnings which will persist forever...and whose solution will actually be a greater longing without any forebearing yields.
After all this thinking......which is already a lot......and a futile pursuit(planning to give up)....what do i get...i get more thoughts...filled with "what ifs" and "if onlys"....................but the bottomline still remains that if ....'ifs and ands were pots and pans then there would have been no tinkers'.....
Despicable as it may sound.....I am your everyday average person who will listen....sympathesize......feel bad about his inability to act ...and vent his frustration in this already frustrated blog!!!!!!!!!!!!

...paradise in bottles and chimneys.......

2007-08-12T22:19:00.000-07:00

I had been waiting for this weekend for a long time.....almost too long......it was the vision I had in my mind which actually made me make up my mind for Hyderabad.

Saturday dawned on us...(metla,sid,arnie....n BAL[:P]).....with the fabulous mughlai cuisine that I had indeed come here for. You can have all the biryani in the world but until your palate has the opportunity to salivate the "Paradise" biryani...you haven't tasted the best yet.

What started of as a beef quest turned into sheer frustration across begumpet.....secunderabad... when frustration gave away to screw beef( never thought would say that).....and so we got our tired butts into Paradise....but the fare there really set the mood.....

For 500 bucks you get almost one industrial pot size offering...and it was more than enough for six of us.

Intoxication has its own distinct charm and as many a drinker would vouch for.....comes alive with proper ambience.The day had started of with the best biriyani.....and so we decided to continue the trend with the best pub .....the very aptly named "bottles and chimneys".....

After guzzling down three pitchers of beer, dreg-pegs of Irish scotch....and the irrepressbile "shots"....it was time for a walk along the Hussainsagar lake.....and a chirpy scottish drinking song!!

...a new life.....but.......

2007-07-30T01:20:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since I have surfed down this alley for a nice "vented" blog , a combination of being actually "busy".....and to the most obvious one of no net connectivity has lead to this rather incoherent precipitation!!
Its been a fortnight that I have been in Hyderabad to be exact......and ....lets just say it has not been quite like the "rosy" vision that my fellow friends ..(oops! colleagues)...had had.
Right from the beginning..(SHOAL BANERJEE....) ........err....(SANT.......(long pause).....(DUTT))...to ARNIB HALDI.......it has been quite an ordeal....and they say the worst is yet to come.
Getting used to all the flashy fortifications that is the chequered field of corporate communication.....was err......rather floopy(anyone!).In quite a nutty nutshell I was actually asked to comprehend the possibility of an error being different from a defect.....and that verification and validation formed the sides of a triangle( poor Euclid)!!!
Surprisingly with corporate analogies of "PROCESS is like purified GHEE" , you even have subject texts containing such stuff.....and worse is one actually has to take a test to get a proper evaluation as to how pure his/her ghee realy is!!!!????
BBBBBut.....(my english teacher still maintains its incorrect to start a sentence with a conjunction.......but).....luckily somethings haven't changed irrespective of the fact that some of us trying rather desperately and unsuccesfully to shed their "I-POD Junkie " image for this "sober smart corporate"!
I mean to say....effective verbal communication( or other forms) exist during exams......and people are still ludicrous enough to believe that online protected exam questions can still be bought from Mumbai!!!!!!!
Ah well such are the vissititudes of life.....that maintaining some form of balance remains essentiall and as I keep on struggling with my confused heart which stills begs me to GO BACK.....
But I guess if I can stand "process is a purified ghee"...i surely can carro on....

....TaTa..kolkaTA.....

2007-07-14T00:54:00.000-07:00

As I sit in front of the blaring screen ...it is with a heavy heart and a lazy hand that I go ahead with this "oh! so silly".. venture of penning down my thoughts....but it is silly as its almost next to impossible to actually give vent to the complex emotions I am engulfed with at this juncture ...in my life. I keep trying to tell myself that .....that its just like my hostel days..where I would get the rucksack and leave......but yet its not the same.....oh! most definetely not.

Amid the deep excitement that I feel about a new life....a life of non-leased freedom....singular exhileration....yet......I do get that most impregnable urge...for that last longing glance.....towards Kolkata...a city...which goes far beyond the mass percieved notions of "roshogolla"...and "mishti doi".....

Whenever i think of Kolkata...at first..... I think of mom's cooking..... nice sumptous meals of "shorshe illish"...."tangrar/boaler jhaal"...."goldachingrir malai curry"...."aloo posto"...."bhetki macher paturi"...."...."tel koi"....."chitol macher muitthya"...."loittya macher jhuri"..."parse/talapiar narkel shorsher jhaal"...to the evergreen ..."murighonto(yes i am bangal and love my mach with bhaat)"......the list is endless.....surface in my mind......I am a proud self confessed bengali foodie!

From "mocha chingri"...."echhorer er dalna r kofta"..."dhokar dalna"....."macher katar chorchori"......"macher mathar dal".......this is so difficult writing about all these things and realising.... that in less than a day...getting hold of all this will be extremely difficult...if not impossible.

They say...give a bangal his "bhaat and mach" and he is full..........well I AGREE!!!!! And somehow the navratan hyderabadi biryani....with all its resplendent grandeur doesn't have that appeal that a classic "doi rui" will have followed by "aamer jhol"!!!!

They can build all the malls they want with all their expensive gizmos. ...but.....you can't top hanging out in Dhakuria lake..after having "Doi phucka" at the Menoka joint...sadly though a recent visit to the lake left me quite incensed due to the fact they are not allowing people into the "island" anymore!!!!!!!!!!

Phuchkas....Jhaalmuri....Bhelpuri.....especially during durga pujo......from your crowded roadside joint.....to the more crowded roll houses......(sighs) gariahaat more and its rolls.....to Oly's and Mag's...for the ever thirsty traveller....

From cricket whites in the mornings...to the football matches played solely in mud and slush...I have a lot of memories from the field's of St. Thomas'...to Tollygunge Agragami...to the most competetive para matches played on the streets on bandh days( we've had quite a few of those).

From the "cholchena cholbena"...to "dekhun ...bhabun..egiye cholun"......from "Mithunda to Dada"....from "Biman bose to Mamata di".....and "maddox square to bula di"....

From waterlogging to belle doodling......from 41B( Netaji nagar- High court) to 8B( Jadavpur-Howrah)...from Beltala to Burtolla.....its been a wonderful journey through all those years.

P.S. I Seriously hope i can make it to Calcutta during the poojas.

...digsy's dinner....

2007-07-05T04:11:00.000-07:00

What a life it would be
If you would come to mine for tea
I'll pick you up at half past three
And we'll have lasagne
I'll treat you like a Queen
I'll give you strawberries and cream
And then your friends will all go green
For my lasagne
These could be the best days of our lives
But I don't think we've been living very wise
Oh no! no!
What a life it would be
If you would come to mine for tea
I'll pick you up at half past three
And we'll have lasagne
These could be the best days of our lives
But I don't think we've been living very wise
Oh no! no!
What a life it would be
If you would come to mine for tea
I'll pick you up at half past three
And we'll have lasagne
I'll treat you like a Queen
I'll give you strawberries and cream
And then your friends will all go green
For my lasagne

Crap!!!!

2007-07-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

Aw man!!!!!!! Its still pouring out there.

Aw man....

2007-07-04T09:48:00.001-07:00

Its still raining.....and am still submerged!!!!!!

where do our taxes go????????

2007-07-03T09:33:00.000-07:00

Monsoon has so definitely arrived in Kolkata, such is our situation that the city will be immersed even if a frog pees overnight! I mean I woke up today and going to the balcony gave me a sickening feeling....that same old waterlogging...unfortunate "pedestrians" trying their hand...or is it legs at Wading World 2007!!!!!

Let no "poschim bongo" politician or municipality officio fool you...... the city does not have a drainage system....so why this silly talk of improving it?????????

Yes we are Calcuttans....( from somewhere i get angry remonstrances from Mumbaikars...almost whole of Urban India).....ok fine....we're Indians...and we have the best natural drainage system available to mankind.....EVAPORATION!!!!!!!!!!

The Met deptt forecasts even more agony.....but even that deptt is equally hopeless...it always presents agony........a typical forecast on any average daily

"Partly cloudy skies....with light or heavy rainfall expected in someparts..accompanied by thundershowers..."

I mean dude..thats like whole of June,July,August,September...rolled into one!!!!!!!!!!

I checked outside( right now i mean)...situation has actually worsened through the evening with more rain.....and since am only relying on the Sun ..this is on the knocker till atleast a couple more days....unless the sky decides to take a leak again.

CMC..aka....Crosscut Mining Corporation.....you can have all the excellent weather you can get but these people will only start digging here there and everywhere only during the rains.

There is always some "work"...PWD....public works deptt....."Arey Dada...notun phoneline lagje"

" Ebar ar jol jombena".......YEAH RITE...why ...whats so wrong with the old telephone lines....and in anycase almost everyone is "mobile" these days...but the "NO more waterlogging" is the real catch.......from time immemorial.....from election campaigns to what not we're always told that.....the new municipality will solve the waterlogging crisis...but hey they all revert back to good old evaporation after all.

.....the piano man.....

2007-07-02T06:58:00.000-07:00

I have again fallen in love with this song.....as I'm sure many have before me....and many will....

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Making love to his tonic and gin
He says "Son can you play me a memory?
I'm not really sure how it goes,but it's sad and it sweet and I knew it
complete when I were a younger man's clothes."
Bridge: la la didi daala la didi daadaa dum

Chorus: Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
We're all in the mood for a melody
and you've got us feeling alright

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
he gets me my drink for free
and he's a quick with a joke
or to light up your smoke
but there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says "Bill, I believe this is killing me,"as the smile ran away from his face"
well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
if could get out of this place."

Now paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talking with Davey who's still in the Navy
and probably will be for life
And the waitress is practicing politics
as the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
but it's better than drinking alone

Chorus: Sing us a song, you're the piano manSing us a song tonight
We're all in the mood for a melodyand you've got us feeling alright

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile'
Cause he knows that it's me they've been coming to see
To forget about life for awhile
And the piano sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say "Man, what are you doing here?"

Chorus: Sing us a song, you're the piano manSing us a song tonight
We're all in the mood for a melody
and you've got us feeling alright

Anguish at Enchey.......The night commences...

2007-06-22T00:41:00.000-07:00

Saturday night.....around 8:30 pm.........

After having enjoyed thoroughly the extremely bright Diwali evening in Gangtok, lit with bright arrays of fireworks all along MG Marg , we packed up some fried beef and firewater for the night. There was this constant drizzle, the kind that keeps on and on without really ever unleashing itself.

After dinner the lads went out for a smoke, and being the ever compliant passive smoker I joined them , it was quite an experience around eleven if you take a walk around Gangtok, because the places closes by around "9ish", so apart from a few policemen on patrol, the fairly odd combination of Nandy, Ayan, Metal and me ....was pretty much the "crowd" if one could call it that.

.....11:00pm.....

I still remember the exact words...and for the people whohave known the gang you guessed right ..it had to be Ayan......

" Na thik hoche na case ta....C'mon guys...this is like our first trip together....we need some adventure..sala Yumthang tao holo na....sala Gangtok ei...."##$%#$" kando korbo"

"SO.....(long pause).....WHAT xxactly do YOU have in mind?"..churns out Nandy.

" Lets do something really "khiska".....chol be...no going back to the hotel lets get up to Anchey monastery...its around 3 kms I think..Zeropoint chhariye"

Nandy and Ayan were doing the decision making while metal and me were.....just trudging along..admiring the smogged night.

"3Kms e TO?????????????........ok VAI....LETS SEEEEE, tora ki bolish?" Nandy looks towards me.

Now even if i am half -hearted ....college pals will say I always ultimately do what I did then.

"Yeah, I am game" [shrug of the shoulders]

The rain was this nagging kind , yet stupid, and care less we were we went ahead with this daft 3 km walk in the middle of the night at an unknown place , with rain ,smog....and severe cold.

We took a shortcut , near the SNT bus stand in Gangtok...a series of steps actually lead you to the road towards the place that is called "Zero point", we took that road, basically we were taking all the paths which would give us the feel of an "adventure"...rather juvenile.

Anyways we were going towards anchey monastery via the TNA fields through...i dunno it seemed like people's back yards ....and hedges and shite...and we were kind of gettin bugged now coz....with the rain and all it was rather muddy..and now even you r gettin bugged so i'll get straight to the point.[:sigsh---finaly!)

There was this stretch of road , the four of us were walking along, and around 20 metres away, there was this Lama guy who was also rather shuffling along. The road like all hill stretches , had a sharp curve towards the end , turning into the other side facing the valley on one side and the hill on the other. So, a situation would arise when the monk would have gone around and we would just be lagging behind.....and then we would also go around.

That was exactly how it happened except for the small fact of the monk not being there once we got around. The road was straight atleast for a 100m so it was not possible for a shuffling monk to bridge a gap of that distance in so short a timespace, and as already mentioned there was the valley on one side( so he could'nt have jumped) with solid rock on the other......and yet he was not to be seen!

At first we were not able to actually grasp the occurence...it was more like......wasn't there a monk around.....then since we were certain that indeed one was around we actually started looking down the valley....Ayan, I remember went a bit ahead to check whether the monk was in front after all...but no go!

Then it dawned upon us..something was not right that night....and we panicked....I had never felt that cold ever in my life....and although we tried a grim face and lets get outta here theme.....we were in deep shit..and we knew it.....

This resulted in an extremely haphazard directionless scrambled run which meant the four of us actually took the wrong turning.....and we missed the TNA field road......luckily for us this place called the "Shinolochu lodge"...where the caretaker rather reluctantly gave in...and we huddled together a silent ,flabbergasted and extremely shaken group of individuals in the corridor..shite we did'nt have money to afford a room!

It was almost two in the morning, we spent a very quiet night ....nobody said much....yet everyone was wide awake...and apart from a few snorts and ...."just impossible" s....there was an eerie silence.

Morning came as it always comes...but never was i so glad for it...we were just depserate to get out of that dingy corridor ..we decided after tha happenings of the night to actually pay a visit to the Enchey monastery.....after all.

What we heard there still sends a shiver down my spine...on visiting the monastery we befriended a young monk.....and told him our story...on listening to it..he behaved rather strangely and ushered us inside their first floor to meet with a more senior monk.

" Around midnight right??....Was there a limp????"

" yeah...there was atleast a shuffle "

To this, evidently a man of few words said this....

"Well, you boys have been very lucky as you were behind him and were not objects of his stare , which could have led to severe lifelong complications"

Now what he meant by lifelong complications we did,nt quite understand, but we were told by the young monk that during its early inception the monastery had a monk who had died under tragic circumstances on that particular stretch of road....and on certain rainy nights its spirits haunt the area. Bad things supposedly happen to anyone who crosses its path....(big sigh..we did'nt)

The next half hour was spent in performing some kind of cleansing ritual on the second floor of the monastery which is normally closed for public , after all of that we decided to go back each of our minds pregnant with questions and doubts!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I apologize for the extremely long post.....but hey shite happens and u have to write about it!!!!!!

And another thing the snaps tells a story......just look at the glum faces ...you will get an inkling of what we went through the night before

Anguish at Anchey......The Day Before

2007-06-20T10:19:00.000-07:00

.......Saturday morning......Diwali day...2003...first year of engineering....

If I remember correctly we had our sessionals on thursday, friday, and then again on monday .....crappy college ploy to stop the free spirited meanderers from running away.....so we had like the weekend to make hay.....and the seed of Yumthang was planted a week before.
There was four of us....three from our first year section-B.....Ayan,Nandy,myself....and Santanu from Sec-D( here on referred to as metal).
Anyways synchronisation with our sessional routine and eternal bengali lethargy did not permit us to get out before noon on saturday..october 25th....(no no thanks to the internet!).
Silly misers we were.....to prove the obvious....that we were stupid too we had actually ventured for Yumthang with a collective dough package of around 800 at the maximum....inspite of the fact that there was one amongst our illustrous group present who had actually....."amar mota moti north sikkim ta maara...mane ei tor lachen ,lachun, djongri..bla bla" (translation:...sheer boasting on his expeditions around north sikkim)
Fate, ( in the beginning of our trip atleast) was on our side....i still remember the SNT bus conductor charging a meagre thirty bucks for four of us from majitar to Gangtok...now either he went seriously overboard on the "isstudent hai aplog" scheme or he just reconfirmed my belief or rather lack of it on Sikkimise mathematics!!!!!!!!!!!
In anycase the weather was bad.....i mean really bad.....so by the time we reached gangtok...it was already two in the afternooon....we were drenched....as we had rather smartly (budding engineers we were)decided umbrellas were a thing for the old and aged!
Ayan and Nandy had taken over the job of looking for a driver mad enough to actually take us to Yumthang..and its valley of flowers in this weather...and looking around is never easy when its 4 degrees and raining!
Metal and I saw to the grub.....fried momos anyone???...thought process...even if North Sikkim is screwed( which it probably was in this weather) we'd still have a fun time hogging in!
Well, when the news came in in the form of ....."uff ar parchina...Too much!!##$$ it" courtesy Ayan....Metal and me..the waiting party were in the " hmm howar i chhilo"(read-expected)...so Yumthang was a no-no....with the big man trudging behind we made our way to hotel Sikkim...( no other hotel was willing to give a single room to four misfits for ..err..nearly nothing (240 i think))
That all said and done...the four of us really had a blast from then on till late evening....momos..rolls....and in general..."scrounging" around as I like to call it on M.G.Marg.
P.S.---Fun and frolic included a lot of things....and as wisecracked by metal..involved partaking of Gin by a teetotaller....a certain kind of wrestling involving a double bed and four boys...one especially humongous! ....and last but definitely not the least......a Lilliputian greeted by a giant..."O HELLO THERE!!!!!".....ah well..the lads who were there will get the significance.

.....sighs.......

2007-06-18T01:31:00.000-07:00

I always hate it.........did it back in school.....and college is no different.....but like everything else in life , we have to......get on with it and move on.............here are a few of my personal top picks through those four years ............

First year:

1) Clad in Gandhian apparel......spending inumerable nights "outside" the hostel....mostly with my partner in crime...an equally sarcastic speccy scoundrel.....courtesy ....."EI TUM SAFED KURTA WAALA NICCHE ZAO!!!!!!!!!

2) Four buggers.....no money....great imagination...foul weather....prone for solicitation from the devil himself........results in...ANCHEY MONASTERY......and err....a lot more....(diwali time i think with having to give psychology after the ordeal..GAH!)

3)Four buggers..again.....replace the dog with ..err...the "THING"....and foul with excellent weather......and loads of high spirits you get a central Pendam freak trek complete with ruins and ancient temples..........finished by coming back to college and dancing to the tunes of euphoria the same night...and if i remember correctly......a rather unexplained juvenile race between me and two larger than life "creatures " across SMIT campus......YYYYYYYY dont ask me.

4)March.....no holidays.....screw it......two drunks....brickbats...and an extremely volatile and strategist first year batch..results strikes...and a nice week long holi holiday!!!!!!!!

2Nd year:

1)3rd semester.. Friday 2nd half ECM lab...jaideep's.....and ECM classes and EDC( Prem kumar) classes n labs no attendance......output.......6 times kolkata visit with one streching from 6th to 25th..engulfing Kalrav and Diwali.....thanx EC..er ES..eat n sleep deptt....

2)4th semster......The phenomenon called BAWAAL MACHAO.......and ofcourse those fantastic saturday afternoons playing cricket on the basketball courts.....and one spectacular occasion on SIKKIM"S state ground thanks to our extremely "furry" friend!

3)Theatrics in the lab...comparable to attenpted suicide...to save my butt in the pdsc lab

3RD year:

1) spending half of the year wihout a leg......and the sheer agony of it.....although I will never thank them as its demeaning....but to all those real "friends"...who stuck by and offered a shoulder.....err...and a lot more during those months....p.s...try going to the loo for a 100 days with one butt.

2) Jobs and changing attitudes of a few...luckily..the really close buggers weren't affected....and one extremely special treat given by two misers and a cerebellum affected "dancer".....to three dopers...man what a cow massacre!!!!!!

3) Gurudogmar .( read full stop....you had to be there !)

4th year

1) Life implementation of the importance of being idle with "EC Sec-B"......a class a day keeps the engineer fresh....

2)Two slothful placed engineers....a WB govt company....50kms away......results in an attendance ratio of 25/120 days...final output in external seminar

"YOU HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING...(sighs).....YOU HAVE DONE 4 MONTHS OF HOLIDAYING".....

pause......should have said......." NO SHITE SHERLOCK"

cheers to my project partner and myself.......for a truly wonderful 8th semester.

3) Last but definetely not the list.....a clear garbage sweep reveals infront of the cocaine man's premises 14 markers of human inexplicancy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHEERS SMIT!!!!!!!!!

INOX SUX!!!!!

2007-05-14T09:23:00.000-07:00

Today..on an old buddy's bidding I had actually gone out for a movie at INOX...now as a rule I do not go there for movies...now c'mon ...i mean when you can watch DVD quality movies for free( three cheers to piracy)...why dish out moolah!!!!!!!!( kinda sick mentality.....but hey it helps saving up......er.... for other activities)

Anyways back to the villification of the multiplex....(sounds more like MOOL- FLEX).....yeah well if you may not have guessed by now...I am an avid fan of the old cinema hall culture...because ........it helps bring back fond memories of the "after( a.k.a-during/before.....) school to cinema" concept and most importantly during the intermission one gets pop corn/fizzy drinks/ ice creams.....you name the junk ...and you'll have it....served up ...without fuss ....sitting on your chair.....and you'd be happy , contented that you ( well almost) got value for money in terms of quantity. Here, you get measly crap served up in an extremely ditsy manner with "paper bowls"..and what not...and in any case...if a couple of samosas cost you thirty....the rest is better left unmentioned......whatever happened to Scoop er niche 8 takar egg roll....( my bong pals would appreciate).... I mean these people serving junk food packaged and priced as caviar !!!!!!!!

Lets not even get started on the ticket prices...Sunday..screwed...weekdays if you brave the heat then its a tad bearable..after sundown the same story.....might as well wait till a typhoon or something for subsidised rates!!!!

In anycase with all this show of glitz and flashy grandeur one expects the comfort levels to be in

line with the rest ....but aha there's the catch...maybe its not that bad in the City Centre INOX ,

but here its just unbearable!

I mean ..yes we all know Calcutta is hot and humid and really unpleasant in all its sticky and icky peremptoriness during the summer but that doesnt entirely give license to freeze "movie -goers" . I remember watching "The Day After Tomorrow" here and if you had seen the movie..you'd know about the world being frozen due to global warming( codswallop if you ask me)...nywz but I kinda really personified myself with Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhall...coz there they were freezing to death...and here I was shivering away in the Inox AC( read -deep freeze)....trust INOX to make a movie realistic!!!!

p.s.-- yeah so what if your dad's got dough.....doesn't fucking mean you blow it all on these parsimonious throats!!!!!

sheer self indulgence.....

2007-05-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

well yeah...creativity feels nice..especially if its expended on oneself!!!!!!!!

2007-05-09T05:39:00.000-07:00

the thing is/..........what is d thing i diop.....nywz.......i am dumbxtruk.........ar t way p[pl.......kinda forget thi ngs that once were .............i men............take garihar

.......down memory lane.........

2007-05-06T03:32:00.000-07:00

This is in severe disharmony with my customary hobby of Sunday afternoons.There is nothing better than “mangsher jhhol bhaat” followed by a siesta. On secondary thoughts…..err….mm….maybe there is…(read getting sloshed in Sikkim after the same meal)……..but no, not here this is KOLKATA and I am a prime observant of the “ba(n)galiyotto” (for all the phiringees out there…read bengalines).
So then why am I scribbling down this rather arcane litany?
Well the blame I think lies chiefly with nostalgia and its ability to precipitate emotional poppycock into vague rhetoric.
This past week I had paid a visit to the antiquated yet oh so refreshing premises of no.4 , Diamond Harbour Rd,Kolkata. The establishment in question St. Thomas’ Boy’s School,Kidderpore…or S.T.B.S as we used to declare with peremptory pompousness!! Right from the obstreperous to the mollified it has seen it all….more than 200 years of housing devoutly diabolical “students”!!!!!!!!
As I trudged along this much trod upon campus road…..a sense of sheer wistfulness with all its ferocity hit me……..shei rasta…..shei math….shei buildings!!!!!
As the greens came into view, the same conspicuous boisterousness , perilous pranks greeted me, like…….like the way it used to throughout all those years .
The present often engulfs you in the past…..and at that moment of time it did so with profound ease. I took a seat on the periphery of the fields to observate…..and reflect…….these fields…..site for many an ecstatic win…ohh those inter-house matches....to cruel grim defeats…..slush slides…..to diving catches……to the promenades through these same fields during school fetes…with…..!!!!!!!
But during recess it has remained the same…..you still had a bunch of mud stained boys kicking a tiffin carrier, amidst a crowd of rugby fanatics…..surrounded by fielders from around 10 different simultaneously occurring cricket matches…how each maintained sincerity towards one’s game is a mystery!!!!!!
Then there were those, the Oh!! Its too hot! Crowd….those sniggerish snobs( look at me so many years and yet so judgmental)…gorging on manna…..provided by mommy…in the shade… just the way mommy told so…with equally pulpy squibs…..aarghhh!!!!!!!!
Time whiled away and the bell rang…..what a relief…no active action to withdraw from the fun and frolic…….yes the still follow the SECOND clang…the last one before persecution involving wood and detention awaits!!!!
Recess over…I entered my old senior school block and as I was drifting along the corridors, familiars sights greeted me from inside the classrooms…there was some poor wanker getting a torturous tirade from an overly exasperated teacher....reminds me of my misadventures with Thattil…..there were a couple of lads outside. kneeling down……ah then I was waiting for this……..the nonchalant loitering……
‘Hey……er…..Banerjee…….???!!!!’
There we go again..that familiar pronouncement….Francis the old maths teacher…..as I began to reminiscence with him, I noticed another prisoner of elderly disdain (a.k.a—of the get out from the class fame) paying attention to my conversation with my teacher….and then he quite boldly asks
‘ Dada, you’re an ex-student?’
‘Hmmmm….(sighs)…..yes an EX-student….’
With a rather glum shrug of the shoulders I bade farewell…….and walked away….pregnant with memories…to keep me company…….on those rainy afternoons when there were just two teams and a football ..and no pretentiousness…..on those wintry mornings…when we used to feel the dew get smacked into our palms…..’deuce ball/corked e practice ..we used to say……and finally …those fearless and selfless feats of bold COGGING during exams…in which our sheer ingenuity always perplexed and hoodwinked those teachers!!!!!!!

she walks in beaty

2007-04-26T11:23:00.000-07:00

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

2007-04-25T09:31:00.000-07:00

My glass is filled, my pipe is lit,
My den is all a cosy glow;
And snug before the fire I sit,
And wait to feel the old year go.
I dedicate to solemn thought
Amid my too-unthinking days,
This sober moment, sadly fraught
With much of blame, with little praise.

Old Year! upon the Stage of Time
You stand to bow your last adieu;
A moment, and the prompter's chime
Will ring the curtain down on you.
Your mien is sad, your step is slow;
You falter as a Sage in pain;
Yet turn, Old Year, before you go,
And face your audience again.

That sphinx-like face, remote, austere,
Let us all read, whate'er the cost:
O Maiden! why that bitter tear?
Is it for dear one you have lost?
Is it for fond illusion gone?
For trusted lover proved untrue?
O sweet girl-face, so sad, so wan
What hath the Old Year meant to you?

And you, O neighbour on my right
So sleek, so prosperously clad!
What see you in that aged wight
That makes your smile so gay and glad?
What opportunity unmissed?
What golden gain, what pride of place?
What splendid hope? O Optimist!
What read you in that withered face?

And You, deep shrinking in the gloom,
What find you in that filmy gaze?
What menace of a tragic doom?
What dark, condemning yesterdays?
What urge to crime, what evil done?
What cold, confronting shape of fear?
O haggard, haunted, hidden One
What see you in the dying year?

And so from face to face I flit,
The countless eyes that stare and stare;
Some are with approbation lit,
And some are shadowed with despair.
Some show a smile and some a frown;
Some joy and hope, some pain and woe:
Enough! Oh, ring the curtain down!
Old weary year! it's time to go.

My pipe is out, my glass is dry;
My fire is almost ashes too;
But once again, before you go,
And I prepare to meet the New:
Old Year! a parting word that's true,
For we've been comrades, you and I --
I thank God for each day of you;
There! bless you now! Old Year, good-bye!

eh?

2007-04-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

Confused. Cannot decide.....dilly-dallying over the irreconcilable thoughts that keep blurring my precison in decisiveness over the matter....or almost all matters if that be! This is what I think
I wonder what my mind thinks......Oh wait ....I think my thinking is in synchronous analogy with
what my mind thinks....so that means that my thinking and my mind's thinking are the one and the same.....but then "they" do say that one does think from one's heart sometimes too.....
So what of our soul......even if metaphorically our heart can think.......why can't the soul....or is it
too busy being lost in symbolisms made quite ineffectualy by safron clad(more often than not) dirty( they smell) old men in terms of our "inner being".
Do you know...that contrary to popular belief thoughts can be measurable?.....and quite bearable!
Now when does confusion arise?.......Its an easy question with a million answers each filled with its own ambiguity. I think of something......then I see other options ......sometimes even seek out other options and in certain aspects they feel better......so which course of action to follow........this or that....but what if......aha.....say's the presiding bugger overhead (whoever that is)...you are CONFUSED!!!!!!
But...its all the mind's doing..........no no...not me......I am not confused........my mind is.....but then again.....sometimes we all enjoy our moment of confusion.....well atleast I do.....a person who has forever done the right thing at the right time and thought the right thoughts........come to think off it has had a sadly sterile way of "thinking".
More often than not in my case............I DUNNO......appears like a blasphemy filled blank in my
mind.........but I kind of welcome it.......because hey......they mind needs its space too!!!!!!!!